It’s been four years since my father passed on and yet I haven’t been able to process my emotions, it all seems like one huge lie, yet memories of his burial and yearly remembrance hit me with the reality that my dad is indeed gone.

A few weeks before my father went into the hospital, for some reason, I do not understand, this song by Eric Clapton kept ringing in my ears and I finally searched for it and played it while I was at work. The tears flowed freely, my body shook, and memories of my father when I was much younger flooded my mind. The ever-cheerful man, witty in every way, adventurous and daring, a man who never took no for an answer and consistently dared the impossible. He trained us to reach for our dreams, always reminding us that the greatest wealth he could bestow unto us was our education.

I remember the free for all banter at home where we will all tease (or yab) each other irrespective of age. I still remember one of his popular sayings when we wanted to give someone a piece of our mind, he will always retort keep that piece for yourself, you probably need it more than them. LOL.

He was a man of few words… well technically; a real action man, who walked his talk. I remember when I was in university and he’d come to check up on me during the week – usually Wednesdays and then ask the guard as the driver drove him into the compound if I had arrived. Yeah, those were his ways.

I remember the reign of Sweet Sensation cakes. He had bought it for the birthday of one of us and we really liked it and thereafter, that became the official cake for all of us during our birthdays till someone ‘rebelled’.
There are many circumstances that can’t be written on paper, known only to God who understands all things. The awesome organizer, my dad ensured all his staff in the office and in the house were paid before he went into the hospital, so he owed no one; even in the midst of his pain, he still cared for his workers.

Yes, four years have passed and the Knight sleeps on.

Yet, God has remained faithful and has continued to fight all my battles those seen and unseen. It’s comforting to know that I have a Father who can never pass away, who will never leave me, a Father who spared nothing to ensure that I was redeemed even though it cost Him a lot; my Father, who holds me close in his tight embrace when I am hurting and whispers words of His love to me. I have learnt that no matter how awesome my earthly father was, he still doesn’t compare to my Heavenly Father.

Today, I say thank you for all those years. Thank you for sparing no cost for me. Thank you for all those moments when you were there!
To my Eternal Father, I say thank you. You are the father of the fatherless, You are my cover and shield, the one who guarantees my victory.

As I write these words, I imagine You smiling down at me – Yahweh’s kid, I imagine you holding me close and telling me everything is going to be ok. I feel Your hands drying my tears when they fall, I feel You fill my heart with hope… and yes, someday, when Christ returns I will have the joy of looking into my Father’s eyes… and at that moment… I’d say a million times over… thank you for loving me the way you did.