She stood by the couch digging her fingers deeply into it, trying all she could to steady herself without giving out a hint of her emotions, how shattered she felt inside or how much her body shook – a violent vibration she had grown accustomed to anytime they had a disagreement. This time, there was a finality towards it as he walked down the stairs dragging the largest suitcase in the house along with him. He stood for a moment at the bottom of the stairs surveying everywhere around him closing his eyes before getting to her and opening them when he turned his head away from her. He sighed and smiled, a weary smile as he pulled the case outside the house closing the door behind him. She crumbled to the floor at the sound of the door closing, while he placed his head on the steering wheel for a brief moment – all drenched in sweat – though the car was particularly cold, and then lifting up his head, he started the car and drove off. 

She had been his first love and the past thirty years of their lives together had been absolutely blissful, and together they had two wonderful children. They had been partners in everything, sharing everything – the good, the bad and the times in between. Their love was built to last, and forever was just a fraction of what they planned to share together. He wasn’t particularly handsome, and no one would have called her pretty or beautiful – at least not in the way her friend Cassandra was, who had the ability to stop both men and women alike in their tracks anywhere and everywhere she was, but their hearts were golden and through the years they had formed a wonderful and seemingly unshakeable rhythm that guaranteed them a never-ending dance to the songs of life. 

They had prayed and fasted for this contract to go through. They had lost three of such in the past and wanted this badly. So when they were nominated and it eventually sailed through their joy knew no bounds. But this contract though it served as their much-needed breakthrough came with a lot of pressure and distractions. First came the endless travelling meaning he had less time for his wife – she had been pretty understanding not uttering a word for the first few months and had bottled up her pent up emotions because she didn’t want to ‘rock the boat’ so he assumed all was well. Suddenly, when he finally returned home expecting a warm welcome, he was treated to a cold shoulder and the silent treatment, and every effort to get through to her proved abortive. The few weeks he spent at home hoping to make up for lost time had them arguing over petty things and suddenly he couldn’t recognize the stranger she had become. 

Their friends hadn’t made things any easier for them. With the newfound wealth came a new crop of friends – a new league of people who matched their new status. Her new friends had convinced her that her husband was definitely cheating after all ‘loaded’ men do like to get a little something…something… ‘outside’ every now and then. While his friends convinced him that some of the perks of having wealth are the ‘fringe benefits’ that come with it – it was nothing special… everyone was doing it. She became suspicious of his every move and picked a quarrel with him at the slightest instance because all she could imagine when she looked at him was him frolicking with some dashing young beauty. For the first time in her life, she began to feel inferior which ignited a newfound dislike for him which gradually grew – without her knowing it – into hatred. On his part, he panicked at the change in her and desperately sought help from pastors, old friends, her friends all to no avail. 

One day, on one of his trips… after a very long but fruitful day he was feeling so excited he called her to share the great developments he was making but instead got a voice message. Not willing to end a great day in disappointment he decided to wind down by going to the country club where he met this dashing young beauty who walked casually to his table and took a seat. On a normal day he would have excused himself, after all, he was a deeply moral and upright man who did not take his wedding vows lightly and though his wife was acting up he still loved her deeply. But one thing led to another – which quite frankly he couldn’t recall, but he woke up the next day in a hotel with a stranger – a beautiful one he had to admit though – by his side. All flushed, he got out of bed as quietly as he could and managed to get dressed as fast as possible and slid out of the door his mind racing frantically. 

On one hand, he thought of calling his wife – she was after all his best friend, but then what was he going to tell her… really tell her. Then he thought of his old friends… like him they were ‘deeply religious’ and he just couldn’t bring himself to call them – he could already hear them castigating him, and of course he knew his newly found friends were only going to hail him for finally joining the club rather than playing ‘holier than thou’. He got into his apartment and dashed into the shower turning the knob to the highest. As the water hit him and drenched him, he wished… really wished he could wash away the night and all that he imagined could have happened, but the longer he stood there paralyzed by shock and disgust the more his mind played out different scenes. 

Meanwhile, his wife having almost lost her mind going through the motions of dislike, hatred and back to like and interestingly love finally decided to reach out to him… a little too late. The phone rang as he wearily and dejectedly walked into his apartment bearing the result of his HIV test. He crumbled unto the floor and sobbed quietly as she poured out her heart to him… telling him how she had missed him… how much she loved him and how she had planned a wonderful surprise for him. And a surprise it was when early the next morning his doorbell rang and standing before him was his life, his heart, his precious love… She reached out to him making to kiss him passionately but he turned his face quickly enough for the kiss to land on his cheek. She gave him the look – the one he had missed so much, the one he was quite never able to resist and tears welled up in his eyes. She held him… drew closer to him… he held his breath and stiffened for a moment as he withdrew gently from her and strode briskly to his room locking the door behind him as the tears finally rolled down his face. 

Indeed, the contract was a success. Its execution was flawless. And naturally, they attended the opening ceremony of the dam – the biggest ever built in the region together. The dam was built with the finest technology that guaranteed its ability to remain standing in spite of the heavy flow of water from two great rivers which met at the point in which it was erected, so the force could fully drive the turbines that were to generate electricity not only for the country but other neighbouring countries as well. As they drove down in icy silence, he glanced briefly at his wife who had arrived the previous day and done everything within and outside the ‘books’ to get ‘closer’ to him while he continuously avoided or resisted her as lovingly as he could. Their love and life together had been the inspiration behind the dam but ironically, as the dam went up, their love… their bond went down and continued in a rapid downward spiral as they packed up and left for home. 

It was a great thing that the children were all abroad studying so they weren’t there to witness them arguing and fighting constantly. She couldn’t understand why he was constantly pushing her away and avoiding or rejecting all advances no matter how romantic they were. He couldn’t imagine telling her the truth or worse still allowing himself to get all carried away with her advances by responding to them thereby putting her life or health at risk. Finally, that day, having gone around the house ranting and accusing him of everything she could imagine and for the first time ever howling insults at him, he walked slowly towards her, grabbed her hands tightly and looked deeply into her eyes smiling almost dangerously, then he whispered into her ears as seductively as possible: “you ruined everything”, then he planted a tender kiss on her forehead and let go of her. She reached out to him, but he walked away, appearing later with a suitcase. 

You see, life happens. Sometimes we wish or pray for something and we don’t get it because our Heavenly Father who sees the end from the beginning is trying to protect us from something – a danger or situation that lies ahead. During those times we blame Him, thinking He isn’t answering our prayers forgetting the passage that says His thoughts towards us are thoughts of good and not of evil to bring us to an expected end. At other times, we allow the cares of life to choke out our relationship with Him such that we are so busy, we can’t hear His voice when He is leading, directing or guiding us. In marriage, there is the issue of the three cord fold that is not easily broken which should be taken very seriously by couples. Guard the love you have and share as well as the home and lives you have built by keeping ‘people’ – family, friends or foes outside of your marriage. They may intentionally or unintentionally sow seeds of discord between you two by changing one party such that they become different from who they were, encouraging bad habits or hinting that one innocent party is cheating thereby creating a baseless rift between you that eventually leads to one’s worst fears actually coming to pass. I can go on and on and on but hope you get my drift? 

Were there things you trusted the Father for last year or years ago that still haven’t come to pass? Wait, and don’t lose hope, after all, the vision is for an appointed time and though it tarries wait for it, it would not tarry the good book says. Do you feel like you are at your wits end? Hold on a bit longer because joy cometh in the morning. Is your marriage on the brink of collapse? Don’t give up, miracles happen when you let go and let Him. And for those who have fallen into sin knowingly or unknowingly, the Father had you in mind… yes you when he sent his Son to die on the cross and when he arose and was lifted high into the Heavens, he sent the comforter – the Holy Spirit, so you can always confess your sins, cry onto Him if you want and ask Him to forgive you, and He’d also fill you with the spirit of son-ship. Have you always lived life on your own terms and have become weary of it all? He’s calling out to you, and you and yes… you too! It’s a new year, you can start all over again. You can hope again. You can dream again. And yes, you can live and love again all in Him.

Wondering how this story ended? Well, a few months later he had finally decided to free his wife by getting a divorce stating irreconcilable differences. She on the other hand had lost all the strength to fight and because she truly loved him had decided if that was what he wanted; it was going to be her wedding anniversary gift to him. Then she received a mail.

It was from the region where he executed the contract. She thought nothing of it and placed it beside the divorce papers and other mails of his which she had been meaning to send to him. A day to their anniversary, she bought a very expensive bottle of fine wine and a golden scroll where she penned down her feelings… her love for him, and then ended it with a kiss while wearing his favourite colour. She packed everything like a beautiful hamper and mailed it to him. He was in his hi-rise apartment looking absently at the waves as they crashed violently against the cliff.

He had yet again made another unsuccessful attempt at taking his life the day before and had gone through such a gruelling experience at the hospital that he had finally given up on that… asking for the Father’s forgiveness for wanting to take his life and the strength to carry on. And with that came the strength to forgive his wife and himself, and today their anniversary he had woken up with a new hope and a new lease of life. For some reason he couldn’t understand, the virus had not ravaged his body like he thought it would, he then decided to start the antiretroviral drugs that day, so he scheduled an appointment for a comprehensive medical checkup. This was when he saw the courier man as he stepped out of his apartment. Slightly irritated by the delay he signed for the parcel, thanked him, gave him a tip and returned inside closing the door with his leg. He recognized the handwriting. He debated whether to open it or not… not because he bore any bitterness or sadness… well… perhaps a bit of sadness; but he was hoping to beat the traffic and get to the hospital in good time. He dropped the parcel and made for the door, but somehow he tripped over the table and fell but was just in time to catch the parcel before he crashed onto the floor.

That was when he noticed the wine. He smiled. Just then he saw the envelope. His heart skipped a beat and suddenly started racing. He wondered what more they had discovered… perhaps he had only a few days to live. He started to tremble as he reached for the envelope and tore it open, his entire life flashing right before him. He opened it ever so gently stilling his breath. He skimmed through at first, then sat up and read through again taking in each word. He stood up, picked his car keys and headed for the flight of stairs as against the lift.

He processed everything as he descended the stairs, entered his car and drove off. He really wasn’t sure where he was going but he drove and kept driving. Finally, he eased the car into the driveway… not much had changed… he noticed. He shivered a little as a gust of cold wind hit his face as he alighted from the car. He made his way to the front door, just then she stepped out oblivious to his presence, humming and locking the door. She turned and they bumped into each other. She tripped, he caught her. He held her up and steadied her but didn’t let her go instead he drew her close, then closer, she searched his eyes and before she could say a word his lips were on hers, she parted them wonderingly melting into his arms and then they kissed passionately as tears ran down their eyes uncontrollably. 

Yes, it turned out the initial result was a mix-up and the mail she saw and sent turned out to be his original result and it was negative! He never told her what happened. She never asked. And together they journeyed towards recovery and forever. Indeed their love was built to last!